But Tonio Kröger still stood before the cold altar, full of regret and dismay at the fact that faithfulness was impossible upon this earth. Then he shrugged his shoulders and went his waywhy is there an urge to pair off? why is there this absurd disappointment when you're not in couple? I could care less about Valentine's Day and I'd feel the same way on any other day. It just so happened that things worked out this way. Is there an innocent way to share affection that doesn't have prerequisites of relationships? It's a terrible thing to say but I think I regret every moment I shared for 7 years with Jorge. I'd rather have had short-lived menial relationships and be where I am now without feeling like I've already burnt out. Of course I haven't, or so I have to believe. I can't understand why it's such an involuntary preoccupation. It's like I'm worried my happiness peaked a while ago and at this point I'm just waiting for the right moment to settle.
But I don't want to settle. I'd rather settle on being alone, as cynical as it sounds.
1 comment:
i think i understand how you feel. i hope everything is alright.
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