re-entering the phase of the cycle where i want to purge my personality and possessions. want to start working soon. spend more time actively doing things i desire and being mobile again. my now defunct and clearly deadly bicycle is really hindering the likelihood of most of this, for now. i'm also fairly disappointed in how i've been handling my academic affairs as of late. i can't decide if it's simply disinterest or sheer laziness that keeps me. sometimes i wish i had never heard of the word architecture. but what else can i say when confronted with the thought of a successful future? Saying I'll be an architect is the furthest thing from a lie I can manage. The truth would be nothing. I don't want to be anything. I just want the resources college gives me to fiddle with until i've lost any and all dexterity. but how do i communicate that has a career or life path? why do i even have to.

i'm not unhappy, i'm actually very happy. but being this happy makes me want to change everything around me.